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Picture this. It is week two, you are in your first seminar, and the tutor asks, ‘So, what did everyone make of the reading?’ Silence. Then a British student starts talking, quite confidently, about something you also noticed in the reading. You had the same idea. You just didn’t say it.

If this is you, please know two things. First, it happens to a huge number of international students, and it has very little to do with how good your English is. Second, in a UK seminar, staying quiet is not seen as polite or respectful. It is more often taken as a sign that you haven’t done the reading, and on some courses taking part counts towards your mark.

Many of my students come from education systems where the lecturer is the expert and the students listen, and questioning the tutor would be rude. In Britain it is the other way round: the tutor expects you to question, add and disagree, as long as you do it politely. Nobody tells you this when you arrive. I learned English as a second language and moved to Britain myself, so believe me, I know how strange it feels at first.

The fear underneath is usually losing face (= looking foolish in front of other people). What if I say something wrong? What if I can’t find the word? The answer is to stop relying on finding the right words in the moment and to bring a few with you. These are the phrases I give my students.

To join in: ‘Can I just add something here?’ or ‘Building on what Mei said…’ (building on = adding to someone’s idea). Using a classmate’s name shows you were listening, and it makes your point sound like part of the conversation rather than an interruption.

To disagree politely: ‘I see what you mean, but I’m not sure I agree, because…’ The ‘because’ matters. In a British seminar you can disagree with almost anyone, including the tutor, as long as you give a reason.

To buy time: ‘That’s a good question. Let me think about that for a second.’ British students say this all the time, and it sounds thoughtful rather than lost.

When you didn’t understand: ‘Sorry, could you say a bit more about what you mean by…?’ Tutors like this question, because it shows you are thinking about the idea.

One more practical tip. Before every seminar, write down one point from the reading that you want to make and one question you want to ask. Then say your point in the first ten minutes, before the silence has time to grow. Once you have spoken once, the second time is so much easier.

If seminars are where you feel stuck, book a free 30-minute chat and tell me about your course. This is exactly what my Academic English classes are for.