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You get your first essay back. The comment at the end says: ‘Some interesting ideas here. You might want to consider the structure.’ You feel quite pleased with yourself. Then you see the mark.

Welcome to British feedback. British people, and British lecturers in particular, often soften criticism so much that it stops sounding like criticism at all. If English is your second language, you hear the polite words and miss the message underneath. I know, because it happened to me when I moved to Britain, and nobody explained it to me either.

Here are some of the phrases that cause the most confusion, and what they usually mean.

‘Interesting.’ Sometimes it really does mean interesting. In feedback, though, it very often means ‘I’m not convinced’ or ‘this is unusual and you haven’t supported it’. Look at what comes next. If there is no praise after it, read it as a warning.

‘You might want to consider…’ This is not a suggestion you can ignore. It means ‘change this’. The same goes for ‘it may be worth looking at…’ and ‘perhaps think about…’.

‘Quite good.’ In British English, ‘quite’ often makes a positive word weaker rather than stronger, so ‘quite good’ can mean ‘fine, but not great’. When someone says it out loud, the tone of voice helps you. On paper, assume the weaker meaning.

‘With respect…’ When someone says this before they disagree with you, the disagreement is real, and sometimes quite firm.

‘Not bad.’ And here is the twist: this one is often a compliment! British people use understatement (= saying less than they mean) in both directions.

So how do you read feedback correctly? I teach my students a simple rule: if the words are more positive than the situation deserves, read them as a softened version of something more direct. A mildly positive comment next to a disappointing mark is not a mixed message. The mark is the message.

And when you really aren’t sure, ask. Email your tutor, or go to their office hours, and say: ‘Could you tell me which part of my essay I should work on first?’ The question is direct enough to get a direct answer, and British tutors respect it.

There are many more unwritten rules like these, from small talk to polite refusals, and I have put twenty of them in a free guide called The Unwritten Rules. Get your copy here, or book a free 30-minute chat if you would like to talk about your own feedback.